Fang Friday (part two)

In my original post Fang Friday I talked about Fang from the Maximum Ride series, and I came across some quotes that I wanted to post on a separate post since they’re just so dang funny!

So, at the end of “Fang” he answers some questions summited by a girl that asks him a bunch of random stuff on his blog. Max goes through his files after he (spoiler alert) leaves the flock, and this is one of the files she came across that’s been stored to post on his blog at a later date.

Anywho, enjoy this excerpt from the end of “Fang” 🙂

It’s entitled in the book “FanQs.doc” and keep in mind that this is Fang’s perspective, since it is his blog.

“Yo,

I have no choice but to respond to this. Why? Because it’s funny. Never underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains.

From Jess:

FANG.

I’ve commented your blog with my questions for THREE YEARS. You answer other people’s STUPID questions but not MINE. YOU REALLY ASKED FOR IT, BUDDY. I’m just gonna comment with this until you answer at least one of my questions.

Do you have a Jamaican Accent?

No, mon.

Do you molt?

Gross.

What’s your star sign?

Don’t know. ‘Angel, what’s my star sign?’ She says Scorpio.

Have you told Jeb I love him yet?

No.

Does not having a power make you angry?

Well, that’s not really true…

Do you know how to do the Soulja Boy?

Gazzy does.

Do you use hair products?

No. Again, no.

Do you use products on your feathers?

I don’t know that they made bird kid feather products yet.

What’s your favorite movie?

There are a bunch.

What’s your favorite song?

I don’t have favorites. They’re too polarizing.

What’s your favorite smell?

Max, when she showers.

Do these questions make you angry?

Not really.

If I came up to you in the street and hugged you, would you kill me?

You might get kicked. But I’m used to people wanting me dead, so.

Do you secretly want to be hugged?

Doesn’t everybody?

Are you going emo ’cause Angel is stealing everyone’s powers (including yours)?

Not the emo thing again.

What’s your favorite food?

Anything hot and delicious and brought by Iggy.

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Three eggs, over easy. Bacon. More bacon. Toast.

Did you even have breakfast this morning?

See above.

Did you die inside when Max chose Ari over you?

Dudes don’t die inside.

Do you like Max?

Duh.

Do you like me?

I think you’re funny.

Does Iggy like me?

Sure.

Do you write depressing poetry?

No.

Is it about Max?

Ahh. No.

Is it about Ari?

Why do you assume I write depressing poetry?

Is it about Jeb?

Ahh.

Are you going to block this comment?

Clearly, no.

What are you wearing?

A Dirty Projectors T-shirt. Jeans.

Do you wear boxers or briefs?

No freaking comment.

Do you find this comment personal?

Could I not find that comment personal?

Do you wear sunglasses?

Yes, cheap ones.

Do you wear your sunglasses at night?

That would make it hard to see.

Do you smoke apples, like us?

Huh?

Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?

Whatever.

Do you like vampires or werewolves?

Fanged creatures rock.

Are you gay and just pretending to be straight by kissing Lissa?

Uhh…

Were you experimenting with your sexuality?

Uhh…

Would you tell us if you were gay?

Yes.

Do you secretly like it when people call you emo?

No.

Are you emo?

Whatever.

Do you like eggs?

Yes. I had them for breakfast.

Do you like eating things?

I love eating. I list it as a hobby.

Do you secretly think you’re the sexiest person in the whole world?

Do you secretly think I’m the sexiest person in the whole world?

Do you ever have dirty thoughts about Max?

Eeek!

Has Angel ever read your mind when you were having dirty thoughts about Max and gone ‘OMG’ and you were like ‘D:’?

hahahahahhahahahah

Do you like Spongebob?

He’s okay, I guess.

Do you ever have dirty thoughts about Spongebob?

Definitely.

Can you cook?

Iggy cooks.

Do you like to cook?

I like to eat.

Are you, like, a housewife?

How on earth could I be like a housewife?

Do you secretly have inner turmoil?

Isn’t it obvious?

Do you want to be unda da sea?

I’m unda da stars.

Do you think it’s not too late, it’s never too late?

Sure.

Where did you learn to play poker?

TV.

Do you have a good poker face?

Totally.

Of course you have a good poker face. Does Iggy have a good poker face?

Yes.

Can he even play poker?

Iggy beats me sometimes.

Do you like poking people, hard?

Not really.

Are you fangalicious?

I could never be as fangalicious as you’d want me to be.

Fly on,

Fang”

Oh, I love reading this every single time I read that book in the series. It’s so funny 😀 I believe there used to be a blog where the “real” Fang would post stuff up, but I think it got taken down. I’m sure there are fans out there that have created a blog that Fang would supposedly write on, so you can snoop around.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed!

Fly on!

 

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